When was the last time you truly listened to someone? Oh yes, we all listen, and yet do we hear what is being said? Growing up in the 1960s in Ireland, Children were to be seen and not heard. Thankfully, largely that is now changed, and for the good. Yet are we listening? Are we hearing what is being said to us? Spoken to us? Are you listening? Are you being heard? Are you being valued?
Are you being listened to? I'm sure you can identify times when you've had something really important to say, important to you, and yet the person with whom you were speaking, just said, "yes" and moved on. You expected a much fuller response.
When someone is speaking to you, do you generally turn and face them? Giving them space to say what they want to say? Do you believe it's necessary to ask questions just for the sake of asking questions? Or are you there, remaining largely silent and maybe just offering a short clarifying question?
Sometimes it's not necessary to say anything when someone else just wants to be heard.
Next time, turn and face that person, whom you are speaking with, whom you value because to be listened to and to be truly heard demonstrates enormous respect. Look at their face! Ask only short clarifying questions, if necessary. And remember, sometimes people just want to be listened to without you having to give any significant response. Momentary eye contact, friendly facial expressions, head nods, leaning into the person speaking. It is said that in the communication process over 80% is non-verbal. Resist the temptation to just jump in and say something. You being present, body and mind is probably the most that anyone can respectfully give to another and what can be reasonably expected in return.
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