Session 107 - My Personal Experience of Grief and Bereavememt

Aidan Noone [00:00:00]:
Hello, and thanks for joining me. This is about my personal grief story. My name is Aidan, and I'm a widower. 15 years ago, I lost my wife, Catherine, to cancer after 26 years of marriage. Now the following is an account of what I had written many years ago and an account of what I was experiencing back then so please bear that in mind whilst reading this. When I was asked to write about dealing with the memory of a deceased spouse, my deceased spouse, my wife Catherine, it made me reflect on my own journey. Am I truly dealing with it? Truthfully, I think many days I don't cope as well as I would like to. Outwardly, I manage life's daily tasks and I appear to be getting along just fine.

Aidan Noone [00:00:53]:
But just beneath the surface, the emotions, the love, the memories are always there lingering. And all it takes is a reminder, a familiar face, a shared memory and her picture appears in my mind and in my heart. It could be something as simple as passing a place or we visited or hearing a song or we both loved or seeing someone we she used to work with. Now these things trigger they bring back flooding memories flooding back. And with those memories comes the deep feelings of sense of loss, loneliness, emptiness, as if something was gouged from you. Part of you is missing. These moments of grief can be overwhelming. They are painful, disorienting, and sometimes feel feeling unbearable.

Aidan Noone [00:01:51]:
I've come to realize that whilst I'm trying to cope, there are times when I simply can't escape these emotions. They come uninvited. Like when I'm walking down the street and they linger leaving me feeling unsettled. I often ask myself, am I holding onto her memory too tightly? I know she has passed away. I know she's no longer physically here with me, and yet her memory remains so present in my heart. Letting go, what actually does that mean? I wonder if I even have the tools to let go. And if I did, would I want to? Letting go is such a personal experience. For some, it means releasing the pain of the past.

Aidan Noone [00:02:41]:
For others, it means learning to live with the memories without being overwhelmed by them. I'm still figuring out what it means for me. I understand logically that she's gone, but emotionally, I feel like the connection remains and the connection sometimes brings torment, an intense pain that feels irrational yet very, very real. Now I'm not intentionally trying to make myself feel bad. I don't dwell in self pity, the poor me. Yet I sometimes find myself wondering, why do I allow myself to feel this way? What is it about grief that pulls me back into the pa into pain again and again? And at the same time, I know that these feelings are mine. I own them. They're not solid things.

Aidan Noone [00:03:42]:
I I can hold they're not solid things I can hold, but they exist inside of me and in my own way, I'm learning to cope with them. Everyone's experience of loss is unique. We each find our own path through grief. For me, my family have been tremendous source of support. I'm also grateful for my friends in the bereavement group to which I belonged. Many of them have walked this this path also and share their experience experiences, helping me feel less alone in my grief. Also, despite what others may think of me or their opinions of me, that's really none of my business. That's all their business.

Aidan Noone [00:04:35]:
None of mine. Live your own life and be happy. Whilst writing has become one of the ways I cope, putting my feelings into words allows me to release some of the emotional pressure. It's like opening the valve of an overfilled pressure cooker. It just lets out just enough so that I can breathe a little easier. Writing helps me express the hurt, the anger, and the sorrow that often builds up inside of me. It reminds me that my feelings are valid, that they're a part of this process. I know that my work in hypnotherapy was and is tremendous source of healing and a means of accessing and easing the pain and the loss.

Aidan Noone [00:05:33]:
You have within you also that capacity, and that avenue is open open to you. I know writing isn't for everyone, and that's okay. We each have our own way of working through our grief, of easing the pain, releasing the pressure cooker. Some find solace in talking, others in creating, and in many and many in in quiet reflection. So whatever method helps you, I hope it brings you comfort and peace even if just for a moment. I wish for each of you the strength and the support you need as you navigate navigate your own journey. Though we each walk this path in our own way, we're not alone with the love of those around us and the support of those who understand, we can find a way forward, one step at a time. Together, we can learn to live again while still holding our loved ones close in our hearts.

Aidan Noone [00:06:41]:
Life will never be the same. It's a new reality. Thanks for watching and listening. Bye for now.